How I got here, figuratively

Actually, this is the fourth-time around trying to maintain a blog. I guess I am not the best person to blog. Many of times I start and then quit because my priorities are in other directions. As a journalist, I need to learn to feed the beast; Hopefully, I will remain disciplined enough to do so.

I recently started my fourth year at Florida A&M University pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Broadcast Journalism. I transferred from the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff in Fall ’11.

Transferring to FAMU was one of my best decisions. At my previous university, I felt stiffened and often times not challenged. UAPB is a great school, just not what I needed to get me into the top 60 news market. If you ever heard of Pine Bluff, Ark., then you know it isn’t much there. The school sits directly in front of dilapidated neighborhoods. Those neighborhoods consist of virtually anything negative. Directly behind the neighborhood is a police shooting range. Most times, you didn’t know if it was the police practicing or the neighborhood being defiant.

After my 2001 mustang was vandalized Spring ’11, I felt attacked. Every since then, I wanted revenge. I ate, slept and thought revenge. That’s when I knew I had to leave. I didn’t leave Benton Harbor, Mich., to go to jail. At that moment, getting even was my main concern. But my mom brought me back from the brinks. She told me, “don’t let them kill your sunshine.” I sat there on the phone in dismay.  I had my people set to carry out my plan. I had it all plotted out to make a clean get away. Her words kept playing repetitively in my head.

I dropped to my knees the day of the supposed hit and I decried to the Lord. My heart was in so much pain. I’ve felt attacked at this school since I arrived in Fall ’09. I felt cornered. I felt alone. I felt as though it was either them or me. It wasn’t going to be me! After hours of praying and talking to the Lord, He enlighten me. He actually took the anger and resentment from my heart. My judgment was no longer clouded with feelings of vengeance.

After that, I started my search. My main objective was getting the heck away from Arkansas. The best thing about getting away was it brought my mom and dad back together. My parents relocated to Florida just to be closer to me. Since then, I’ve been cleared of the thoughts that were going to take my sunshine. I am so thankful to be where I am today because of God, and my parents.

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